Shock Treatment

Save His Soul!

I think Religion is a terrible idea.Even Jesus was against it.He only encouraged people to worship together because it forms a community, and communities lift people up. Marx once called them opiates, pacifiers; I think they're more like golden calf cocaine, the lot of them.

I'll not be totally one-sided: I'll agree there are organizations affiliated with Religion that do wonderful things.My old church used to take in the homeless on certain frosty nights, and I once went on an Alternative Spring Break to find myself housed in a Nashville Catholic church (feeling that any moment I might suddenly ignite lying in my pink "Princess" sleeping bag).

But that is not the work of a Religion; that is the work of people operating under Belief. And beliefs are marvelous things. To an extent, we allow people to believe whatever they want. After all, we let children believe in Santa Claus until they inevitably have their bubbles burst by the shock of catching mum and dad carefully arranging presents under the tree (or in my case, gingerly placing my stocking at the foot of my bed). But to believe in a faith with a name is not to align with a belief, but to align with a history that claims superiority to the others.

Though it may not seem possible today (or maybe it does, again, recently), Religion has been responsible for throwing the known world into chaos. It happened during the Crusades, and earlier with the displacement of Paganism with incoming Christianity in the Roman world.

While the signs are still here--we have anti-gay legislation (Go California!) and terrorist attacks to prove it--the warnings will not to be heeded. Christianity has a choke-hold on America, regardless of its altruistic intentions. To deny it has detrimental effects on a segment of society, however small, is to bury ones head in the sand.

I think what has been wholly lost on the people of this world is that attending a house of worship does not save your 'soul'. It will not be cleansed by sitting inches from the pulpit on Sunday if you lead a selfish, ignoble life the rest of the week. That the body needs a physical surrounding to make real to it the conceptions of the mind is but a fluke in the design. The 'soul', whatever it is, is moved or filled or saved by a belief, and by a conscious decision to dedicate ones meager prowess to it.If a man models his life after that of Buddha (sans diseases) yet does not claim to be Buddhist, does it make him any less? Will he be condemned to 'Hell' for not letting someone else's idea of God into his heart?

So let's read the Bibles and the Torahs and the Korans and the Theravadas and the Upanishads like the interesting, wondrous tales they are; but can't involve ourselves so much in the storylines of people who lived in a wholly different world that we forget that we are capable of such acts of supreme generosity and benevolence in ours. The truth is we will never find out which one was right and live to tell about it. We need to stop thumping the text and try to recover the inspirations.Maybe then we'll find a Belief truly worth placing faith in.

Oh, 'Bama

The world is falling apart. Southern California burns while Iowa floods.Earthquakes rock off-shore Alaska and inland China. Our once arch-nemesis, North Korea, has suddenly been embraced by our leaders like a child who ran away from home for the night. In Northern Vietnam one ruthless would-be dictator attempts to replace another, and in America one would-be President is already tearing the sash from the incumbent.

When it comes to the War Against Republicans, we all seem to have drawn lots with a prominent black candidate: To the world, Obama is not a power hungry Senator whose first move since his election is to run for Presidency; he is a humble, community focused man with a secret vision for change that will save the economically fumbling States from their steady decline and restore the old idealism to its full realization--or to at least re-master the illusion of it. He is a man who will give us what we all need, because he knows exactly what to say the American public.

Nevermind his spiritual fundamentalism; nevermind the vagueness shrouding his plans for his future rule; nevermind his militaristic right-hand man Plouffe.In our rush to get past the Bush years, we will elect a man who has promised us change without blue-prints, aside from those he stole from Brazil. And just in case there is any doubt in the mind of the American public, let me say that again: We will elect Obama.The man has played up the emotions of everyone, from college students to tax collectors, and has the added bonus of a dark complexion to appeal to the idyllic American value of equality.I read he has even 'befriended' his opponents--just to prove no one can escape his silvery speeches.

And I find the most puzzling aspect of all this to be the unwavering support he receives from most of the American public--and most of the world, for that matter. They are either too terrified of being labeled a racist to confront him about his omissions, too feeble-minded to come up with an equal retort to his eloquent tongue-lashings, or simply too dim to realize the danger of supporting such an elusive candidate. The man already acts as though he were President, and there's not a challenger quick enough to dethrone him.

In these uncertain times it would be unfortunate for the masses to pursue a man such as Obama with such fervor, to raise him up as "savior" (yes, a friend used the term to me recently) without having any true understanding of to where they will be delivered.He is, perhaps, the greatest natural disaster to fear--both for what he says, and for what he deliberately choses not to disclose. Let us not forget the man who delivered Germany from its death-throws almost seventy years ago, lest we, too, fall victim to the beautiful sounds of a monstrous Siren in Salvation's robes.

You Can Lead a Horse to Water

Only One Slice, Thank You

I wrote an undergraduate paper about two years ago entitled, "Fit vs. Fat: the Potato vs. the French Fry". Did you know organic food costs about 60% more on average than 'regular' food? And you can buy miniature cinnamon nut rolls--probably more delectable--three packages for a dollar at the right grocery store.

I don't believe there is anything tricky about the state of health in America these days. In fact, I think those who cannot understand the interdependency of the Fast Food Industry and the Health and Beauty industry are simply not thinking logically enough. The later detests obesity, deformation, and over-indulgence; the former has Dollar Menu's that all but rally for them.

But what better way to make a buck than to make people crave intensely unhealthy foods and then ostracize them for the affects? It's a well-oiled bipolarity. You can stuff your face with all the crap you'd like and then guiltily work it off with a membership to your favorite gym. Who knew life could be so fulfilling?

And while we struggle with self-image, personal economics, and our palate's desires, it rains gold coins on the men and women who stand at the helms of the two industries. It' a winning situation for everyone--unless your one of the unfortunate millions caught in the middle. Yet as the customer, we are the only way these places stay in business...so how do we pull the plug on them?

Here are a few simple rules that that will improve the quality of life for the average individual without the funds to eat raw and spend weekends detoxing at the spa:

• Avoid high fructose corn syrup like the plague. Nothing about it is natural--it should never be anywhere near the human body!
• Sodas, even the diet ones, contain outrageous amounts of sodium, which makes us appear larger by causing us to retain water. Try to make them treats, not habits.
• Eat more vegetables--when we were hunters and gatherers we ate nuts, vegetables, fruits, and lean meats. And look where it brought us!
• Just say, "wheat"--the health benefits are undeniably better than white bread, with a lot more flavor.
• Drink more water; your skin, body and mind will love you for it.
• Give in to a serious craving--one piece of cake now is better than a whole one later.
• Moderation! My Swedes know what I mean...
• Find something, anything physical that you enjoy, whether it be walking, boxing, or Dance Dance Revolution-ing, and do it regularly; exercise is a natural mood-booster, and you'll see better results the longer you stick with it.
• Take stairs two at a time. You're climbing them all day, might as well have the ass to prove it.

And for Heaven's sake, don't put so much stock in the opinion's of airbrushed magazine covers with models and celebrities, or in the photos of lose-weight-quick gurus and their human experiments; nobody's bodies look like that without the help of a computer--not even theirs.