These days, the bigger star appears to be Denise Richards. I'm bad with celebrities so I'm in no informed position to talk about either of their careers. But I did see Drop Dead Gorgeous. It is hysterical.

She does have a show now, so I guess that says something. I saw part of it show tonight as well. It was fine, kind of in the vein of the ever popular I'm-famous-so-film-my-real-person-life-and-show-the-world-I'm-human reality TV show (Hollywood, wake up! We love you for the roles you play, not for the person you are 90% of the time...and viewers at home: you can't love a person who doesn't know you exist; get over it or get some therapy. I know the star-fueled public sphere encourages worship but I promise you you're probably just as interesting. Most people with that much money are bored. And BORING). I was forced to walk out when her nephew's punk ass friend pulled out a copy of Playboy with his AUNT on the cover.

But that's not even the worst of it! Okay, it's totally inappropriate, obviously. But when the nephew doesn't want to look, the friend is shocked!

It went something like:

"No, dude, would you wanna look at your aunt naked?"

"Yea, if she was hot I would!"

I don't know what 13-year-olds are walking around our suburbs thinking it's okay to spank it to a picture of your father's hot sister on beach towel in July, but this mustbe addressed.

Children of the world, read carefully, I will only type this once: I understand that in our over-sexed culture things can get a little tricky. I assume public education is in worse shape than I thought it was since you appear to have been given some bad brains along the way. I'll try to clear it up for you briefly:

When you're older you might see some things that change your sexual habits or cause you to end up with someone radically different from the partner you day dreamed about in Social Studies. And that's fine, these things happen. But for the love of all that is holy and sacred, look outside the bloodline for that person. There are almost seven billion people in this world. It's not like you aren't going to have the opportunity. Stop oogling your sister when she's in the shower and keep your eyes pointed towards the breast on your plate at Thanksgiving. You sleep with your family and all kinds of crazy shit start falling outta the womb.

Go watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre. You wanna birth a baby Leatherface? I didn't think so.